Sunday, December 7, 2008

0142 to 0205

0142: Masakit isiping di mo man lang ako maalalang i-text. Kunsabagay ganyan k naman e. Don’t text back, wag ka nang magpaliwanag dahil damang-dama ko...WALA KANG LOAD!

0143: MRS: sir, mananawagan po sana ako sa mr ko
RADIO ANNOUNCER: Ok, go ahead!
MRS: Hon, ibalik mo na ang mga bata, isa lang ang sa ‘yo dyan!

0144: ERAP on GAME KNB. Kris: Tito Erap what’s the chemical symbol of water? ERAP: HIJKLMN! Kris: Ha? Sino nagsbi sa nyo? ERAP: Ung teacher namin sabi H to O daw!

0145: Kiss is a key of love. Love is a lock of marriage. Marriage is a box of children. Children are problems of the Philippines. So stop kissing to save the Philippines!

0146: Hi! Buntis k daw? Totoo ba? B-eautiful, U-nderstanding, N-ice, T-houghtful, I-rresistable, S-weet and smart. Stay BUNTIS! Build, Uphold and Nurture The Image of a Sister who always care!

0147: Ur d reason why I have sleepless nyts. Ur d reason y I hold my pillow tight. Ur d reason y I pray at nite. Lord help me may MUMU!

0148: Di ba masakit pag inagawan ka? Di ba masakit pag niloko ka? Di ba masakit pag pinaasa ka? Pero mas masakit pag umiwas sya kahit ramdam n ramdam mo, na may chocol8 syang dala. KADAMUTAN d ba?

0149: PASAHERO: Bossing, hindi pa ba tayo aalis?
DRIVER: Mamaya na ho, wala pa pong laman!
PASAHERO: Anong tingin mo sa kin? Sabaw!?


0150: Please pray for me. I just received my medical results. Ang sakit ko habang tumatanda GUMAGANDA ako. But don’t worry, di naman ito nakakahawa, pero di na ako gagaling.

0151: Sending you my BED to let you rest, PILLOWS to give you comfort, BLANKET to keep you warm, KULAMBO to keep you away from mosquitoes. Gud nyt and sleep tyt! Bukas na ko m22log, nasa u na lahat ng gamit ko e, hehehe.

0152: May your sleepless nyt be peppered with spicy love. May you have lemon dreams, sleep on a strawberry bed inside a vanilla room. In short, have a yummylicious nyt!

0153: I miss talking to you and the times we spent texting together. But now you seem so far away. Maybe I’ve been unfair, so now I’m knocking on your heart asking...may meryenda dyan?

0154: Two friends talking:
PEDRO: Wow, pare labo! Nuod ako sine kanina, ubos P1,000.00 ko.
JUAN: Ha? Bakit?
PEDRO: Bili ako ng bili ng ticket, pinupunit nung babae sa pinto! Adik yata?!

0155: Gusto mo ba mag-artista under FPJ productions? Kasama mo cla Miko Sotto, Halina Perez, Rico Yan, Nida Blanca. Pamagat: “IKAW NA LANG HINIHINTAY.” Ano payag ka ba?

0156: Miss mo na ba ung mga lines na “Yes wala pasok!”, “Crush mo 2l”, “Wala c sir”, “1 whole pengi”, “Answer naman”, Kakamiss di ba? Pero mas kakamiss ung… “Ma Baon ko!”

0157: Never love if you’re not prepared to be hurt. Never start if you don’t have plans to finish. Never speak if you don’t mean it. Most importantly, never smile when you don’t have... teeth.

0158: Ako...kilalang crush ng city, sikat sa Pilipinas, asset ng barkada, palaban sa kalokohan and ang lakas ng appeal! Pero, joke lang yun! Hehehe.

0159: Text won’t flow, everyone knows. When the load fades away. Text will die and tears in your eyes. You’ve got to throw your fone “UP HIGH” Yeah yeah...throw your fone up high.

0160: Paikot-ikot lang ang quotes. Forward dito forward doon. Nabasa noon, mababasa n naman ngayon. Pwede ba wag na lang yun ang ipasa? Load na lang para masaya. Promise, di ko ipo-forward.

0161: Pag sinaktan ka, wag gaganti. “Don’t do unto others what you don’t want them to do unto you.” Pero pag sinaktan ka ulet, bigyan mo na ng suntok o cpa. “It’s better 2 give than to receive.”

0162: Mga big time na tao sa mundo ay naaalala ka. SENDER: Saddam Hussein +965800137
Eto pa, SENDER: Osama Bin Laden +964836421 At ang boss! SENDER:

0163: NAISIP mo na ba kung gaano kasarap magmahal? Kung gaano kasaya pag kasama mo ang taong mahal mo? Kung gaano kasakit pag iniwan ka? Wag mo nang isipin, magaral ka na lang!

0164: The Lord didn’t want us to doubt, to fear or to hate. He wants us to DREAM, to BELIEVE, to SURVIVE and to see us in STARSTRUCK. Maghanda ka na, next batch tayo. Hehehe.

0165: Kailan yung huli tayong nag-usap? Nagkulitan? Tumawa? Okay lang kung hindi mo maalala, ganyan din naman ang lola ko...ULYANIN na!

0166: MAN1: Pare, bakit pasa-pasa mukha mo?
MAN2: Umattend ako ng world family day e.
MAN1: Ha, e di ba dapat masaya yun?
MAN1: Kaso nahuli ako...ibang pamilya kasama ko.

0167: DRIVER: Para, aatras ako. Pakitignan kung may mababangga ako.
PARE: Cge, tras na! Kasya...kasya! Kasyaaaa!
(Blag!) Ano ka b naman, sabi nang may puno ng KASYA eh, tras ka ng tras!

0168: Days are made special with a smile. So smile at everyone. Smile at everything. Smile anywhere. Smile anytime. A friendly reminder from Philippine Mental Hospital…

0169: Di ka ba makatulog pag uminom ka ng KAPE? Baligtad tayo! Ako di makainom ng KAPE pag natutulog.

0170: I wish I could sit beside you and whisper I miss you. Maybe you’d ask bkit? I’d say wala lang! Then I’ll take your hand, give it a gentle squeeze and tell you… “anong lotion gamit mo?”

0171: Stop, Look and Listen. STOP what ur doing, LOOK at ur cell, LISTEN to ur heart! It’s telling you, “Ang cute na to, tine-text na naman ako!”

0172: Junior: Mami, ano po yung 10 commandments?Mami: Yung ang sampung utos ng Diyos, anak.Junior: Mas mataas po pala kayo sa Diyos, mami.Mami: Ha?! Bakit?!
Junior: E kasi, mas marami po kayong utos.

0173: Others say life is unfair. Well, it’s true. Others are jealous of you. And they really should be. Wanna know why? Hmmm. Coz you have a cute textmate like me.

0174: PLEASE LIMIT your text to me! Do it on day that start with letter T. Tuesday, Thursday, Today, Tomorrow, Taturday, Tunday, Taumaga, Tatanghali, Tahapon, Tagabi…Tige, bye!

0175: My HEART says I must take care of you. I should make sure no one harms you. But I’m not always there, so just be careful each time you Swing On Trees!

0176: Sabi ni Ernie Baron, ang Kuto raw at hindi ang Tao ang galing sa Tsonggo. Siguro nga totoo. Ewan ko, pero kapag naiisip kita, duda pa rin ako…

0177: TEACHER: Use deduct, defense, defeat & detail in a sentence. Pupil: de duct jumped over de fense.. de feat first, then de tail!

0178: TEXT kita kasi di ako makatulog.. Malamok eh! Gulong-gulo ang isip ko, tulungan mo nga ako. Ang lamok ba pag natutulog nilalamok din?

0179: Kung INIISIP mong importante ka sakin, kung iniisip mong naaalala kita, kung iniisip mong nami miss ko ang text mo.. Aba, laking
himala! May Isip Ka Na!

0180: BREAKING NEWS: U.N. to pass resolution prohibiting Muslim & Arab looking men from riding ships & airplanes. They can only travel by Camel or Flying Carpet.

0181: I really miss you! Text mo naman ako ng number mo. No, not your landline number. I want to visit you. No, not your house number. I want to see you.. Text me yung Cage Number mo!

0182: Go on with your life. Don’t look at the past with anger. Don’t look at the future with fear. Just look at the present with awareness that you are the cutest girl.. In the Planet Of The Apes.


0183: CUSTOMER: Soli ko tong VHS tape.
CLERK: anong problema? CUSTOMER: Lagay ko tape, walang picture, walang sound. CLERK: Ano bang title nyan? CUSTOMER: Head Cleaner!

0184: Can you pronounce English words properly? Let’s try, say these aloud: wolf, roof, hoof, woof, wolf, roof, hoof, woof… Good! You’re an extraordinary super talented Dog!

0185: WANTED: Textmate for life… qualifications: simple, cute, smart, loving, thoughtful, caring, understanding & owns a car. Interested parties, please text me your Plate No.

0186: BABALA: Pinagiingat ang publiko.. Dahil pinaghahanap pa sa ngayon ng mga bumbero ang unggoy na nakawala sa Zoo. Huling nama-taang nagbabasa ng text na to…


0187: NANAY: Anak, di ba panget na naglalampaso ako dito habang ikaw dyan ay naglalaro? ANAK: di ba po mas panget kung ako ang naglalampaso at kayo ang naglalaro dito?

0188: Dahil friend kita, I’m willing to prepare your food. Sa umaga, inihaw; sa tanghali, prito; sa gabi, nilaga. Nasa syudad ka na kasi, so you should learn na to eat cooked Banana...

0189: MAINIT NA BALITA: isang gorilla ang namataang gumagala pag gabi. Pinag-iingat ang lahat… Concerned ako sayo, ingat ka ha? Kasi sabi nila galit daw yon sa Kompetensya!

0190: MISTER1: Advertising cost me so much money… MISTER2: bakit? negosyante ka ba? MISTER1: hindi. Kasi dahil sa mga advertisement na yan, lumalaki gastos ng misis ko!


0191: I dreamed an old witch was going to change you into a Frog, so I pleaded for her to spare you and she did! Kasi sabi ko, hanap na lang sya ng iba dahil ikaw naman ay mukhang Butete na!

0192: I’m quite busy right now, but this weekend I’ll visit you. Same address ka pa rin ba? Kanto ng Quirino at Mabini, yung maraming paintings ang pader di ba? (manila zoo)

0193: WIFE: darling, if we save three installments on the TV, miss two installments on the ref & don’t pay our last installment on the aircon, we can have the down payment for this nice sala set…

0194: Hirap ng buhay ngayon! Kailangan kayod ng husto para may makain. Mabuti pa noon, di ba? Teka, di mo ba naisip na balikan.. Ang Zoo? Doon, libre lahat!

0195: It’s not how ignorant or how smart your friend is, it’s how you value each other! Also, I don’t care how pretty or ugly my friend is, it’s how she will treat me as a friend...see? Kahit pangit ka pa, I don’t care! :)

0196: PARE1: Pare hulaan mo ugali ko, nagccmula sa letter A. PARE2: Approachable?
PARE1: Mali. PARE2: Amiable? PARE1: Mali pa rin. PARE2: Cge sirit na! PARA1: Anest!

0197: 5 benefits of kissing...changes taste, burns calories, lips never go dry, relieves stress, makes face muscles strong. So keep kissing. Don’t worry, there’s no sugar.

0198: What’s wrong with ur phone? I try to call u but d operator says “Welcome to d JUNGLE! The MONKEY dat u r calling is on d TREE. Pls try again later!”

0199: Ang MAYABANG mahal ka na, ayaw pang aminin. Ang TORPE mahal ka na, ayaw pang sabihin. Ang PAKIPOT mahal na ayaw pang sagutin. Pero ang TANGA, nakita nang may sasakyan tumawid pa...patay!

0200: A ur ADORABLE, B ur so BEAUTIFUL, C ur so CUTE and full of CHARM. D ur a DARLING, E ur EXCITING, F-agod na ko, G-rabe! H-irap mambola I-ngat ka na lang.

0201: Life’s finest gifts are few. That is why there is one adorable you and one cute me! Have a good day!

0202: As a friend I guess I may tell you that you’re pretty ….pretty ugly. But that’s ok you’re funny naman….funny looking! Don’t worry may cute sa yo...ANG FRIEND MO!

0203: Sa buhay, di maiiwasang may makilala ka, maging close kayo, madevelop ka at di mo akalaing mahal mo na pala siya. Pero ang tanong, ikaw ba e kumain na? Ako busog na…

0204: Galit ako sa yo! Ang sinungaling mo! Why did you spread that rumor? Wala ka na bang ibang magawa? Why did you make kalat that I’m super cute! Cute lang ako, hindi super!

0205: As we all prepare for a brand new day, let us bow our heads for a minute and say...ANG CUTE ng SENDER!